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Snippets

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

Agent asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.

 

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"..

 

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

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Dit is die Engelse juffrou se eerste oggend in die klas op Boshoff en sy sê: “Good morning class”.

Net een outjie spring op en sê: “Good morning miss.”

Juffrou vra hom hoekom het hy alleen geantwoord het.

Hy sê: “Because I is the only one whose name are Klaas miss”.

 

Funny quotes

 

If you're going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

 

 

“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”

 

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

 

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

 

Toe hulle hom vra van watter musiekstuk hy die meeste hou sê hy: ‘Van Beethoven se Owerspel in Bach se Flat’

 

Resensie oor musiekkonsert in koerant: ‘n Amateur-strykkwartet het Brahms gisteraand in die stadsaal gespeel. Brahms het verloor.’

 
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